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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
June 26, 2011
CHRISSY, THE HIPPO
I am Chrissy the hippo. My friends
call me ... hippochrissy. Yes, I have
a large presence in Washington.
Why should you complain, it's my
native habitat in this country.
Congressmen and Senators (and,
yes, even the executive branch)
roll up to Washington and then
cling to me. They are my children
-- I'll admit not all, just a goodly
percentage. In fact, politicians
everywhere are quite naturally my
They talk about leaders killing their own unarmed people. Then they send
planes to bomb unarmed people. If you bomb someone's house, who do you
expect to be living there -- the military ... or women and children. Worse, in
the Second World War, they firebombed cities killing hundreds of thousands
of women, children and mostly old men. When the Bishop of Chichester,
George Bell pleaded against this "obliteration / either of city or of nation ..."
the Archbishop of Canterbury, (who heads the Church of England) William
Temple, thought Bell was going too far in opposing Bomber Command
during war and chose to lie low. As you see, my children are international.
And who can forget Hiroshima, and then Nagasaki before the Japanese High
Command could yell, we surrender.
Look at my friend the Grand Ollama favored by and enamored of bankers
and moneybaggers. His election speeches sought to take the country back
from lobbyists -- his listeners didn't know he meant their lobbyists not the
power-brokers'! Over 80% of his fundraising bundlers collecting
contributions of half a million to a million and more were given jobs in his
administration, reports the Center for Public Integrity.
Rich pastures are everywhere says the Grand Ollama, and arugula doesn't
come cheap. Can you blame me? It's genetic, endemic, a mental ischemia --
I don't think, I am ... a politico ... it just comes naturally.