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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
June 23, 2013


News Item:  The G-8 summit was held in Ireland.

My fellow llamas, my first job as the G-O, the Grand Ollama if you like, is to keep all of
you safe.

But Sir, your oath of office said nothing about that.  It just wanted you to defend the

Listen, reporter guy, if you are dead you won't be worrying about the Constitution.  
That is why I am keeping you safe, so you can ask me these questions.  That is the
First Amendment.

Even though you are tapping my phone and checking my emails.

It is to keep you safe, don't you see.  Big Brother -- and you can think of me as a
watchful older brother looking out for you -- is watching everyone.  That's how we find
out about troublemakers, and trouble before it occurs ... and that's how we keep you

While violating the First and Fourth Amendments ....

You need to cut it out.

Well, Sir, let me try another subject.  Could you tell us about the summit and the
platitudinous communique.

What do you mean?  It was successful, restful and everyone had a great time
including my extended family who are enjoying an extended vacation.

Indeed some newspapers at home are complaining about taxpayers' expense.  But
my question had to do with the G-8 members who are all broke except for the
Russian bear.  The BRICS of which the Chinese pandas specially provide much of
the fodder, and they are not here.  Hasn't G-8 become a waste of time and taxpayer

Gimme a break!  We all need to squeeze the Russian bear together to keep him in
line.  You know that.  And hey, I have kept you safe and I need a vacation ... so does
the family ... you expect me to ensure peace in the world and quite right ... then you
gotta give me peace in the first llama family ...