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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
June 17, 2012
I LOVE ARUGULA; I LOVE WOOL
News Item: Fund raising for the presidential election continues apace.
The Grand Ollama muses: You know I love arugula. In fact the Grand Ollamess
grows it in our backyard. It helps, but it is not enough. Who has it most and knows
how to get more? Why, the dinosaur too-big-to-fail banks. They've helped me out
before. Let me see now ... there were Morganosaurus and Chaseosaurus, and now
their love child MorganChaseeosaurus.
It used to be, they'd blunder along trampling the arugula and eating some. But now
they have a smart jockey, the Jimmy Demon, who has found them so much (although
he lost #2 billion's worth recently), I can count on him for a regular supply. Just the
kind of jockey WellsFargosaurus and BoAsaurus need.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a New Romney sheep is thinking ... I don't care
about this arugula stuff. I like wool; I love wool. And I have plenty of it. It all comes
from the blessings of the Great White Father of the sky through banking
There is much one can do with wool: pull it over eyes -- everything appears nicer;
make a soft cocoon -- the troubles outside appear to fade away. That guy (you know
who I mean) can have his arugula and his 'change'. Lettuce and wool are fine for me
-- I am a homespun guy -- a man of the people.