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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
June 16, 2019


News Item:  Trump seeking emergency measures to secure wall funding.

I am telling the wall is going to make me the most significant president in history.

Surely the immigrants from Mexico are ...

Who's talking about Mexico ...

But isn't the wall on the Mexican border?

No, that's history.  I am going to build the most amazing, incredible wall the world has
ever seen.

Where is that going to be?

On the edge of the earth ...

But there is no edge on the earth; it's round.

That's where you're wrong.  That's fake news.

Fake news?  It's a scientific fact.

Fake science, like climate change.  Hell, it's the coolest summer we've had in years.

But everyone knows the earth is a globe.  We have seen satellite pictures.

It's the view they show you.  It's flat on top.  And that's where my wall comes in.  It will
save humanity.

But airplanes go round the earth now.

Yes on one face, and people disappear off the other face of the earth.  I have been
looking at FBI files. They disappear without a trace.  How can that be?  Even the FBI
can't find them.

They change identities, hide ...

Can't from the FBI.  No, they just fall off the edge, float away into space.  I am going
to stop all that; build a wall.  They'll call me the greatest president in US ... even world
history -- the man who saved millions of humans from falling off the edge.  Now, go
get me a cheeseburger.