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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
June 16, 2013
FRENCH POODLE SNIFFS CHEMICALS
News Item: The French President Francois Hollande claims to have irrefutable
evidence the Syrian government has used chemical weapons. The U.S. has agreed
to supply the rebels.
Mon Dieu! Incredible! Me ze French chef -- non not of ze food ... non! non! of ze
French state; me ze first French poodle, ze miniature French poodle, ze new
Napoleon, ze conqueror of Mali.
What, what did you say ... where is Mali? Don't bother me wiz ze details. It's very big
-- grande -- somewhere in Africa which is also very big, so Mali is hard to find. But we
found it ... and we conquered it.
Sacre bleu! Sarin gas. So, 'ow you say it ... deadly. My poodle nose can smell it
from a thousand and more miles away. Zey have crossed ze cordon rouge ... ze ...
'ow you say it ... ze red line.
Reminds me of ze Moulin Rouge and ze can-can fillies that can ... and ze French joie
de vivre. Give me ze vin rouge, not ze cordon rouge. We will let les Americain
friends worry about ze .... 'ow you say it ... ze red line. And ze stupid British bulldog
... most stupid of all dogs ... me ze poodle is among ze top ... ze smartest.
So ... I am off to celebrate ... I 'ave passed ze 'ot potato to ze Americain. Ha! Ha! To
Moulin Rouge then ... come ma petite cherie!