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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
June 15, 2014
THE CHESHIRE CAT
News Item: Hillary Clinton is doing a book tour as a prelude to her candidacy for
You are famous for your smile. Some say it is fake ...
Well, you have the carpers and the doers. I am a doer. And I plan to be the first
female president of these United States of Animals.
Also the first cat -- cool if I may say so.
Yes, but that is less important.
And will your Tom be moving into the White Animal House?
Well, you know what tom cats are like. He tends to wander. That's nature.
How understanding of you ...
You learn to live with it. Besides, I have my own amusements ...
And how have you been doing? There have been rumors of bad health lately ...
Nothing that rest could not cure ... Secretary of State is a tough job. Plus, I have
written a book.
Yourself? Or ghost written?
There you go again ...
Did you explain how you converted a $1000 into $100,000 in a year's commodity
trading. Its a skill putting to shame renowned traders like Paul Tudor Jones. And
then you stopped; just like that (snaps fingers) and you have never traded again.
Too stressful (smiles the Cheshire cat smile). Anyway, I command that in speaking
fees now ...
And what do the people paying out the money expect to buy?
A speech. There is an insinuation there that's uncalled for.
My apologies. And of course your husband made $50 million or so in speaking fees,
while poor President Carter has to collect nickels and dimes for his health projects
across Africa ...
My husband does development work too ...
Of course. He also repealed Glass-Steagall leading to billions in profits and even
more billions in losses the public trough and the Fed have been saddled with ...
The implied insinuation with those profits is a canard. Listen, this interview is over.
(And the Cheshire Cat smiles).