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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
June 14, 2015
THE G-7 LICE CONFERENCE
News Item: The annual G-7 summit was held (June 7-8) at Schloss Elmau in Krun,
Germany, nestled in the Bavarian Alps.
Hello Tommy! Hi Mac! Bon Jour Pierre! Wie gehts Hermann! Ciao Giorgio! ...
How's everybody been? Nice fresh air in the alps ...
Here's a toast ... from our hosts to us ...
Wait! Wait! Let's swap glasses for a change of taste ...
That's better. Mmmm! mmmm!
Any news? Let me start: my host, old B.O., has done the dirty again. Short crop ...
cost some of the family ... a minute of silence for all the departed ... okay ...
Well, I must compliment mine. Considerate ... so considerate ... seldom washes her
hair, so we are all safe and cozy ... gemutlich! You Gorgio?
Not much to say really, except worry makes him scratch his head, and we lose a few,
but nothing major like you B.O. residents.
What about Tommy then?
Oh, old D.C.'s on a tear. He won big. His mood has improved the taste of the food
no end. Except ..., I shouldn't quibble but the amount of grease he lays on his
noggin. Cor blimey! It's like walking in a bog all the time. Pierre?
Mes amis! Les girls were a great distraction. Hop off for a change of scenery, a
quick drink, or even a vacation. No more. No more scooter rides in the night. No
nothing. Just constant head scratching ... keeps us hopping ... and there's less hair.
Well gentlemen ... and ladies, here's to next time. Any requests for transfers. Yes?
Of course, the kids always want a change. Why not! A change of scene will always
do them good. Oh! and, let's not forget Boris. He must be lonely out there with just
the occasional visit with Ming. A toast to them ...