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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
June 5, 2011
A WIENER'S LAMENT
News Item: U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner (Dem., N.Y.) was found to have
been exchanging sexually explicit twitters with numerous young women. A
lewd photo of himself twittered to 21-year old Gennette Nicole Cordova, a
Seattle college student, was mistakenly sent to all 40,000 of his followers.
I am a little wiener, a little piglet ... and like any other little wiener, I dream of
being a large bratwurst, a giant boar - now, I know to some I already am ... a
huge bore, I mean -- but look at it this way they started in the Second World
War and they are still fighting it -- The Battle of the Bulge ... only, now they
are calling it the Great Bulge Controversy.
What's wrong, I ask you, if a little wiener chases a little brat? What a fuss
about such a little thing? As if it's the first time ... not for me it's not ... ha!
ha! I am following 198 of these brats, so why not? Yeah, I admit it. I sent
one of these chickadees, a dickachee, a humdinger, I mean a hamdinger
looking for a peekaboob. But the brat squealed ... What a pig?
What's wrong, I ask you, if a little wiener chases a pair of buns -- hot dog,
that's me ... jumping jack rabbit! holy schamoly! an effing frankfurter, mustard
and a pickle on the side.
That's me! a pickle on the side in a bulge, I mean a bulge on the side in a
pickle, a tight pickle by the look of it ... trussed up, swaddled knackwurst ...
twittering knackers ... I am done ... and not an effing peekaboob in return.
What a brat?