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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
May 24, 2015
THE CLINTSHIRE CATS
News Item: The Clinton's earned $25 million plus in speaking fees from January
2014 to now, while Hillary's strategy remains posing as one of the people, attuned to
their concerns, visiting small town cafes in Iowa and New Hampshire.
Just hang in there. The great American people are generous by nature. Just
another two years of it and we'll be back in the ...
It's different this time. We'll be downscaling. The place'll look awfully cramped now
that we live differently.
Yes, yes, we gotta make sacrifices. Think of the rewards ... and, and four more, no
eight more years at the helm.
What rewards? No more speaking fees for eight years ... and no more donations for
Ha! ha! ha! I love that word ...
And no more jet-setting with tabbies, calicos, Siamese and that whole menagerie.
You are a rogue ...
Not true ... I have changed ...
I have too. I don't care. But the pesky press will be watching closely and I have to
act like the prols ...
Prols? You becoming a socialist?
No, no, no. I meant the riff-raff ... you know the great American people. Don't know
their backsides from their mouths.
It's better that way ... I'll miss my present life ... the svelte, feral African I met last trip ...
Stop it, you inveterate Tom. It'll kill you ...
Maybe you oughta reconsider ...
What do you mean, you lowlife. You had eight years.
A hellish prison it was ... not the teeniest bit on the side. Why would you want to go
back to that?
Didn't I tell you? It's my new love, it's my old love, my constant rekindling and
rekindled love ...
What are you talking about?
POWER! I love it and I'm going to get it ...
(Eyes open wide, back arches, claws come out and a fearful hissing has the tomcat
cowering in fear.)