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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
May 20, 2018


News Item:  A Chinese double amputee climbed Mt. Everest, and Prince Harry with
documented mental health issues married Meghan Markle.

How was the climb?

Vely tlicky.

If David Niven had so many friends in Hollywood -- he wrote a compassionate,
thoughtful, funny and eminently readable book about them -- then Meghan Markle is
different ...

So who walks you up the aisle when your father who nurtured you has declined ...
perhaps the inevitable Hollywood plastic surgeon responsible for the fine-tuning.   
You, who has climbed Everest might have an answer.

Vely tlicky!

Father went bankrupt in 2016.  How, when she was a successful actress?

Vely tlicky!  Ancestors not rike.

Most brides ask their girl friends or sisters to be bridesmaids.  Meghan had no one.  
Not even her closest friend of 32 years who she dropped after TV fame and divorce
from film-producer husband who got her there.  Why is that?

Vely tlicky!  Reave old flends when not usefur.  Woman with no flend is rike cup
without water ... vely dly!

Will the prince need more than a dry and, from friend's accounts, calculating woman?

Vely, vely tlicky ... specially with plince's ploblems.

Most people getting married have difficulties in having to prune the list of relatives
and friends down to a reasonable number for the wedding.  Meghan couldn't get a
half-dozen to come ... just a few celebrity acquaintances.

Yes, vely tlicky ...rike spling without frowers.  No good smerr.

Will the prince be happy in his marriage?

Vely tlicky!  Happiness is rike water in bradder.  It come and it go.

Did you enjoy climbing Mr. Everest?

I crimb and crimb and crimb.  Plince too like Mt. Evelest.  She crimb and crimb to
reach ...