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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
May 19, 2013
THE TOY POODLE
News Item: French President Francois Hollande's approval rating plummets to a
record low of 24 percent.
Oh Mali! Oh Mali!
Sorry Monsieur le President, O'Malley has returned to Ireland; he is no longer here.
Non! Non! Not that O'Malley, I mean Mali -- that place in Africa. Everything is going
wrong ... nobody loves me anymore. Oh, woe is me!
Look at that one in America. Calls himself a Llama -- you couldn't even make a bikini
out of the wool he's got. He's sometimes black, sometimes white. I think he's a
Dalmation -- grew up white ... became black. You know what I mean. He wants to cut
their pensions, spies on the press ... makes no difference. They'd crucify me over
They are calling me a toy poodle. They say that the German Dachshund toys with
me. To be honest, I think she's a compact Rottweiler.
They are saying that Russian mongrel call me his little Bolonka. And worse that
English Bulldog wants to dump me ... dump all of us.
You know the latest ... They are saying I can not get my long term companion to
make a commitment. They are saying, she just toys with me. They say she pats me
on the head so much I have lost all my fur there.
They keep saying I am just a toy poodle ...
I am not ... I am not. I am not ... I am not. I tell you, I am not. It's our terrible press --
I'll spy on them too ... put 'em in jail for leaking state secrets.
I am not a toy poodle. I am not .... I am not. I am a proud BICHON FRISE.