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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
May 12, 2019
News Item: The Independent, a British newspaper has a story on its website claiming
Trump cheats at golf.
Cheat? Cheat? Me, cheat at golf. Why would I?
I am the best in my club. I don't need to. And I can always buy another club to be
best at when I am not.
There's a story you muscled a 10-year old you were playing against ...
I was playing his father and he just tagged along.
What were you playing for?
Cheeseburgers of course. I don't drink. Part of why I am so healthy at my age ... and
I take my golf seriously.
Some are saying more so than your duties at the White House ...
Nonsense. Those duties I can delegate. The golf I cannot.
What about hot-button issues like Iran now?
Yeah Iran. Too bad those Ayatollahs don't play golf. I have made many a deal on
the golf course.
What about the cheating?
Cheating? Cheating? There you go again. Don't look at me ... ever bought a carpet
from an Iranian.
No different from art dealers in general. But have you not thought about your legacy?
All the time. That's why I have this great idea for the White House. I am going to
build a golf course on its lawn -- at least as many holes as will fit. Tiger Woods is
going to be the consultant. The best, yes -- save the best till the last. I plan to have
a hamburger stand at the final hole.
A stand serving my favorite cheeseburgers ...