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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
May 12, 2019

GOLF STORY


News Item:  The Independent, a British newspaper has a story on its website claiming
Trump cheats at golf.


Cheat?  Cheat?  Me, cheat at golf.  Why would I?

To win.

I am the best in my club.  I don't need to.  And I can always buy another club to be
best at when I am not.

There's a story you muscled a 10-year old you were playing against ...

I was playing his father and he just tagged along.

What were you playing for?

Cheeseburgers of course.  I don't drink.  Part of why I am so healthy at my age ... and
I take my golf seriously.

Some are saying more so than your duties at the White House ...

Nonsense.  Those duties I can delegate.  The golf I cannot.

What about hot-button issues like Iran now?

Yeah Iran.  Too bad those Ayatollahs don't play golf.  I have made many a deal on
the golf course.

What about the cheating?

Cheating?  Cheating?  There you go again.  Don't look at me ... ever bought a carpet
from an Iranian.

No different from art dealers in general.  But have you not thought about your legacy?

All the time.  That's why I have this great idea for the White House.  I am going to
build a golf course on its lawn -- at least as many holes as will fit.  Tiger Woods is
going to be the consultant.  The best, yes -- save the best till the last.  I plan to have
a hamburger stand at the final hole.

A what?

A stand serving my favorite cheeseburgers ...