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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
May 8, 2016
THE GREAT AND HIS GREAT DANE
News Item: Donald Trump crushes Cruz in the Indiana primary securing all 57
delegates by winning all the counties. Cruz and Kasich suspend campaigns.
Woof-woof! You did it master. You are great!
And that is why I pick greats and why I picked you ...
Does that mean I can hope for the vice-presidential nomination ...
No, not that fast, but I'll think about it.
You mean you want someone with experience and ability to help you run the country
when you are elected.
Whaddya mean? I have experience. I run billion dollar businesses, and I have
fantastic ability by the way. Everyone knows, I have terrific ability ... no problem with
my ability, believe me ...
Okay, okay! So who are you going to pick for your VP?
Well, it's not going to be the run-of-the-mill guys ...
What about a unity candidate like Cruz or Kasich? You know, give just a little ...
Never, not that son-of-a-bitch. And those are not my words ... it's the usually most
courteous former Speaker.
May be a black or brown or even a Muslim candidate. You know a Muslim is
becoming Mayor of London. Of course, you could pick a woman and/or one of the
You mean go for a two-fer? You have got me thinking though ... there are millions
upon millions of dog lovers in this country, though I don't care for them -- present
company excepted of course ...
You need to appear more lovable ...
Lovable? I am super, super lovable. I am fantastic. Everyone agrees I am terrific at
being lovable. No problem there, believe me ...