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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
April 30, 2017
THE GRAND OLLAMA'S CHANGE
News Item: Former President Obama will speak to the investment bank, Cantor
Fitzgerald, for a reported fee of $400,000. The former First Lady Michell Obama is
no laggard with her own engagement for a fee of $200,000.
The notion that capitalism benefits only the wealthy and powerful is absurd. Michelle
and I come from modest backgrounds, and now we have something to give. In the
capitalist system, you get paid for what you give.
But Mr. President ...
You know, I've always said, to get change you have to be involved. And that's what I
am demanding, change ... to rich bankers it's just that: loose change.
But Sir, what are they paying you for, not putting them in jail?
Excuse me, the notion they could have gone to jail is totally false. There was no
concrete evidence. As I was saying it pays to get involved. You witness the quiet
dignity of working people in the face of struggle and loss ...
And then you allow income inequality and poverty to worsen ...
We tackled poverty as best we could. But you folks must learn to get involved, get
engaged. It's the beating heart of our American idea, our bold experiment in
government ... that we are all created equal.
Sir, nobody's paying me $400,000 for a speech with many more to come ...
It's the notion of celebrity in our new gilded age.
You mean marketing the office of president, a privilege and honor bestowed by the
American people ...
As I have said before Michelle and I have been extremely blessed ...