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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
April 19, 2020
News Item: Ivanka Trump, Senior Adviser to the president, travels to the family's golf
resort in Bedminster, New Jersey, while encouraging others to avoid discretionary
travel and practice social distancing.
When I have been telling everyone to stay at home and we are in a lockdown ...
Yes, Poppadums, but we are not ordinary people.
It looks bad. Don't you know the election in November?
Don't worry Dad, you're running against a corpse.
That's what I am afraid of ... being beaten by a corpse.
Well, we are enjoying ourselves. Great weather!
Wish I could be there having a round or two of golf.
You know you couldn't Poppadums. Just think what the press would do to you ... the
president enjoying a round of golf while others are in lockdown and death stalks the
Oh the press! I am sick of them. Do the people realize the sacrifices I make for
them? I could be anywhere at one of our golf courses. The publicity alone is worth
a fortune in golf memberships.
Don't say that Poppadums. You never know who might be listening.
When will you stop calling me Poppadums ... and you know, I haven't had a decent
cheeseburger in days. The American people just don't realize ...
I know, the sacrifices you make. But you knew you would have to when you chose to
You know what, I'll ask one of the staff to take a cheeseburger break and scoot out
And get you one too.
Why not! Enough's enough, and I am dying ... for a decent CHEESEBURGER ...