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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
April 14, 2013
CAM AND MAGWICH
News Item: Margaret Thatcher, the former British Prime Minister died this week.
While the current Conservative PM, David Cameron wants to hold a 10 million pound
state funeral, much of the general public is out dancing in the streets ... singing "The
Wicked Witch is Dead."
Yes, Magwich is, was, my spiritual austerity guru, lamented Bulldog Cam as he
addressed his den. No! No!. I don't mean Dickens' character, I mean our former
den chief. We owe her everything.
Yes, everything. What has happened to our teaching system? -- producing these
veritable morons. He surveyed his tribe.
I hear some other den members are out dancing and celebrating.
If I catch 'em, they'll have my bulldog jaws to answer to ... . Oh! She was a great
bitch. To our den, to our tribe she brought wealth and prosperity.
He smiled wistfully.
Yes, we'll give her a great funeral and bury her.
And waste all that meat ...
No, she was all scrawny when she died.
You mean, she really looked like an old witch.
Listen! No disrespecting my beloved Magwich in this den, or you will have me and my
jaws to answer to.
Yes, we will give her a great funeral ... a funeral to remember -- you know like the
elephants. Maybe we can have our own dying ground. I am thinking of myself in the
But she taught us for each to look out for ourselves ... ONLY, shouted a smart,
upstart pup in glasses.
Cam snarled. In this den, what I say goes. We are having a funeral.
Can we have a party too?
NO! He snarled again.
Meanwhile, in the distance could be heard the strains of "The Wicked Witch is Dead"
and the sounds of merrymaking and laughter ...