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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
April 13, 2014
MOD-I-AMO: THE SACRED COW
News Item: Throughout the Indian election campaign, Narendra Modi, the BJP
leader has claimed to be single without family obligation or children and therefore
less likely to be corrupt. It has now been discovered he has a wife, a retired
schoolteacher living in a one-room house in his native village, who Mr. Modi simply
left many years ago.
You are very touchy on this issue. You won't talk. You won't answer questions. You
expect to be treated as a Sacred Cow ...
Bull, bull, bull!
Okay! Sacred Bull. But how can you claim to be single when you have a wife?
I lead a single life ... and this is a private issue.
Ah! You mean a girl in every port, like a ...
Like? I don't like. I don't like girls.
You don't mean to say you are ...
Ho! No! No! I mean I am married to my country ...
So the country belongs to you with all its wealth?
I lead a monastic life ...
Albeit a lavish one, while your wife is hidden away in a one-room village shack.
It is her choice. My mother lives in a one-room house in the village also.
So you treat your mother the same way also. Are you saying you are a misogynist?
They choose to live that way. And I don't trust big words or people who use them.
My people love me and I love them ... Mod-i-amo!!
Let me ask another question. With all the attractive women falling at the feet of a
powerful Prime Minister, if you are elected, might you not want to marry?
No! No! NEVER. I hate marriage. It has caused problems ... like you, for instance.
A misogamist ... would it be fair to say?
Again those big words ... I want to solve our country's birth control problem ...