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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
April 10, 2011
SOUR- COZY THE FRENCH POODLE
Yes, we poodles have a volatile
temperament. We are, what you
say, passio-nate; that is why ze
ladies swarm around us. Look
at my little filly, for instance --
well actually she is much biggaire
than me but I make her wear ze
flats, and I wear ze high-heeled
shoes in zis family.
Oh, I may look sour to you but ask my filly, she will tell you I am really cozy.
Now that terrible visitor we had from ze Libya ... he makes me sour.
Wrapped in ze large blanket with ze scarf on hees 'ead, he tells my filly
stories of ze romantic Arab Sheikh in a tent -- like some reincarnated Rudolf
Valentino. Turns her 'ead; she has never been ze same. She wants me to
live in a tent with her and to wear ze funny clothes to play out her fantasy ... I
never forgive 'im for turning my life topsy-turvy and making me miserable.
The demands of my job - it's tough to be top dog - make me tense. So he
sends me this giant Ukrainian nurse -- her massage was worse than any
dog's bite. I am so sore from her pounding, I can barely stand let alone
walk. I can never forgive 'im.
He has made me sour when all I wanted to be was cozy. Even my little, I
mean big, filly mignon is keeping her distance.
I am going to get 'im.