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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
April 5, 2020

FOOD FEVER

News Item:  The coronavirus lockdown has been extended.

I am sick of this lockdown Melania; I could eat a horse.

Oh Doughnaald, I have just the ...

Don't tell me you have a recipe for horse meat?

I was going to say ...

I knew it, you people eat everything ...

No we don't.  Anyway our food tastes better ...

Yes, yes ... pig food.

Then our pigs eat better than you.  Listen to me.  I have this delicious recipe for goat
meat with vegetables, like a goulash with fresh peppers.

Just what I said.  You think I am a pig.

Well ...  you should know the peppers are rich in vitamin C which boosts immunity,
which will help you fight infections ... like this virus.

Why didn't you say so.  I'll ask them to put slices of bell peppers in my burger, just
like pizza, eh ...

I'll tell the kitchen.

Oh not their fancy burgers.  By the time they are done it's like eating a burger in a
French restaurant.  I wish the joint down the road was open.  They know how to make
'em just the way I like.

Well, it's your lockdown order ...

I had to Melania.  Can we tell the people about the sacrifices I am making for their
well-being.

Doughnaald, it won't look good, if they find out you are complaining about a burger ...

Can't anyone understand.  I am really dying, dying for a decent CHEESEBURGER ...