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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
April 3, 2016


News Item:  North Korea is upset at US-South Korea joint military exercises.  A former
North Korean reports that most people there don't agree with the leadership but are
too afraid to say anything.

The Melican Swine are threatening again.  We will show them.  We will show them.

What will you show them Supreme Maximum Leader?

Oh!  I am surrounded by sekki.  The Flying Squirrel you fool.  Launch it.  But make
sure the head has a haircut like mine.

It reminds me Supreme Maximum Leader ... your barber is waiting ...

Why didn't you tell me?  Bbadori!  It is the most important item on my agenda
especially when I am thinking.  Do you know why?

No, Supreme Maximum Leader.

Sekki.  Listen and listen carefully and get the same haircut.  You need it.  The hair on
the top is kept thick to conserve heat so my tiny grey cells work at optimum
temperature; the sides are shaved close to release extra heat so I don't blow my top.

Mi chin nom (whispers under his breath).  Thank you Supreme Maximum Leader.

Now send out the Flying Squirrels.  These animal missiles with miniature nuclear
bombs on their back is our answer to the Melican Swine and their capitalist dogs in
Seoul.  Now send in my barber.

Torai (whispers under his breath and slinks away saying) Yes, Supreme Maximum
Leader, yes.