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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
March 29, 2020
THE FRUSTRATIONS OF LOCKDOWN
News Item: The lockdown in the US continues.
Why don't you open the door, Melania?
Now Doughnaald, you know I can't.
Because your bedroom is on your side and mine is on this side ...
But ... but ... but you are my wife.
That is true Doughnaald.
Then why won't you open the door. You know there is nothing else to do ... even the
TV is lousy ...
I know. People telling us we are going to die.
Then why won't you open the door.
You made the rules about lockdown and self-isolation. Even Prince Charles has
He's a British twit; I'm a red-blooded American.
I am just following your rules, Doughnaald.
If I made the rules, then I can unmake them ...
Well, when you do, let me know, I'll open the door.
You know I can't.
And you know I can't. I have Barron to think of.
Put him in another room.
But if you infect me, I'll pass it on.
It's all a hoax, you don't have to believe it, Melania.
Not that again! Why don't you get yourself tested?
You know I hate needles. And I love cheeseburgers and my favorite place is closed.
Open the door, PLEEEEEEE ... ZE!