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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
March 20, 2011
MY BEEBLE LOVE ME
Yes, I am still here -- I am the victorious Middle Eastern Blind Mole Rat --
Muammaspalax Gaddafbergi to give you my official name. My beeble are
grinding these earthworm rebels into the dust -- cowards, rats, earthworms
and foreign agents, I warn you, Libya is for Libyans, especially me, because
you know, "my beeble love me."
So now you northern moles, you want to attack us. You want to colonize us
again. You won't succeed. See how my beeble have thrown back your
agents and stooges. Yes, I know northern moles spit fire with Typhoons and
Mirages -- cleverly named to deceive ... by the fiendish fork-tongued French
frogs because these Mirages are quite real.
I don't want my country to become Iraq. No, we don't want the kind of
freedom you have forced on them. Look at them: bombs every day, tens of
thousands dead, millions in exile. No, keep your freedom and keep your
fire-breathing birds. We have declared a cease-fire.
But the rebel stooge rats, cowards and earthworms keep attacking our
brave soldiers defending our motherland. And they hab to brotect
themselves. What can I do? I am not a Bresident, not even a Brime
Minister. I am a father asking his children to stop squabbling, and get ready
to defend our country from the vicious white mole rats. We will stay here in
our land and die before we will give it to them. Look at beaceful Tripoli
now. See how the beeble love me ... and stay away if you value your lives.