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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
March 12, 2017
DOG DAYS AT THE WHITE HOUSE
News Item: A majority (52 percent) have a favorable view of First Lady Melania
Trump according to a CNN/ORC poll this week. The president's approval rating
meanwhile has fallen to 43 percent (Gallup).
Doughnaald! It's not my fault ...
You're up there in New York charming them while I have to do the hard work in
Doughnaald! It's the media ... and .;..
Go on say it, 'and' what?
Oh Doughnaald, it's the things you are doing ... like taking away medical care form
Don't tell me you are still a Commie, Melania ...
No Doughnaald. But that system was good for basic needs.
Good at nothing I tell ya ...
Not good at goods beyond basic needs I agree.
It's the media and their lies. Look how they under-reported the numbers at my
Not that again. It's two months ago. Who cares?
Who cares? I care. They elected me. They love me.
You know what they say about Washington, Doughnaald: If you want love, get a dog.
A couple of Rottweilers and a pair of Dobermans ... Melania, you are a genius. On
my signal at press conferences, they jump and take a chunk off the reporter's
backside. I'll invite CNN and the New York Times back. Great idea, Melania, just
No! No! No! Doughnaald! I mean a dog to love, a gentle dog Barron can play with
... you know like a Golden Retriever.
You'll ruin that boy, Melania.
Well, how about a Dachshund? He's a cousin to the Doberman and the black and
tan type looks like a small version of one ...
Hmmm! Let me see ... (starts fiddling with his smart phone). Look, it says over here
Dachshund are the most aggressive of all dogs. Perfect. They are also very loving
Barron and I would be happy with one.
Why one? You have the Dachshund; I'll have a couple of Dobermans. You know, for
the press conferences.