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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
February 26, 2011
The Middle East Blind Mole Rat -- Nannospalax Ehrenbergi
Yes, I am Muamma, Muammaspalax
Gaddafbergi to be precise,
commonly known as a Middle
Eastern Mole Rat. Oh yes, some
may consider this an insult, but I
am proud of my ancestry. How
else could I be the longest serving
ruler on/in this earth? -- except of
course, for the Queen of England
with whom I have a lot in common;
for example, I don't do the day-to-day running of my country.
And, I also don't serve as torture center for those northern white moles like
my cousin, Mubarospalax puppetbergi does. He just disappeared like the
earthworm he turned out to be. No, those neighbors of mine have been
jackasses for a long time. His predecessor thought he was buying gradual
freedom for our Palestinian cousins when he signed that peace treaty ... got
himself killed instead. No wonder his boss Nasser used a French play on his
name Anwar, and always called him Ane Noir -- Black Ass to those of you who
don't know French. See, I am quite accomplished, and my beoble love me --
at least the ones around me.
Some say I am crazy, living in a tent. But, if I make a tent of mud and burrow
in my labyrinth of tunnels, you can't find me or kill me. Yes, they have all
tried. i just move my tent. Will they get me this time ... this bunch of
ingrates? Well, we'll have to see. Oops! bad noises coming this way -- I've
gotta go. But don't worry, you'll be hearing from me soon. I'm a survivor ...
at least until now.