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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
February 23, 2014
THE SOCHI BEAR CLOSES OLYMPICS
News Item: The 2014 Olympics at Sochi concluded with a closing ceremony on
Sunday, February 23 after sixteen days.
Nice Olympics, da! Great opening ceremony. Beautiful place. Spring-like weather.
The sea ... the mountains ... great audiences -- clap for everybody good. Great
Russian hospitality, da! Now, what you think? We Russians still bad?
Nyet! We are emotional. See our pretty girls crying when they skate well ... crying
when they fail ... everybody happy.
And who say we don't like gays. See the girl who won the Men's Figure Skating ...
nyet? Oh! my mistake. Anyway, everyone clap for her ... him.
Pussy Riot? Da! They make small riot. Cossacks good at stopping riot. Whip? Da,
but they don't crack skull with blood everywhere like American police. Or use dogs
Okay, okay! We talk of better things. Who won the most medals? Who cares?
Humanity won. We had a safe Olympics. We celebrate human spirit.
And tonight we also celebrate potato spirit ... Come, drink up, drink up. Russia says
farewell to its guests with vodka. And we toast the next winter Olympics in South
Korea. To peace ...