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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
February 18, 2018
THE VOLE AT THE OLYMPICS
News Item: The Winter Olympics are ongoing in PyeongChang, South Korea.
Oh my goodness! What can I say? What noise? Like thunder ... no, like an
earthquake every minute. At first I was scared. I thought the earth was falling. I dug
myself out from the side only to see a crazy human flying through the air with a tree
branch strapped to each foot.
Listen, I am a vole. At least that's what I thought, though the Asians call me a vore. I
don't like that. The way they say it makes it sound we are all females with bad
Anyway, my family has lived here for generations. We knew something was wrong
when humans showed up with big machines making a terrible racket. But they went
away. Now this. I can't sleep a wink.
To be honest with you, it's worse than the foxes. Yes, they eat us but it is quick and
they don't make this constant infernal noise.
How crazy are these humans? We thought they were all going someplace. But I
watched them. Guess what? When they get down to the bottom, they ride on some
contraption back to the top and slide down again! How nutty is that?
You know I have a friend across the hill. His humans spin in the air and do all kinds
of antics, all with these long wood things strapped to their feet. He says they look so
funny he is thinking of selling tickets to other voles to come and watch from his place