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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
February 16, 2014
A BEE AND ANT DISCUSS HUMANS
News Item: Demonstrations against elected governments often paralyzing commerce
continue in several countries.
Bee: You and I know what a well-ordered society is, don't we?
Ant: Yes, it is difficult to believe humans are the most intelligent species when they
can not live together in peace.
Bee: You know, what I think the problem is ... greed!
Ant: Oh, Christ, yes. But it's more than that. I would include, fear. Gives them
Bee: I agree. They are nuts. Look at all the psychotherapists they have.
Ant: Some of them are nuttier than the patients!
Bee: (Laughs). Yes, lie down and tell me what's wrong.
Ant: It's more than all that. They are like crazed, aggressive chimps on steroids ...
killing millions of their own kind ...
Bee: Only to become friends with those they were killing and enemies with their
former friends -- allies they called them.
Ant: How crazy is that? More business for the psychotherapist.
Bee: And worse, they fight within their colony.
Ant: Look at the biggest one of all. They choose a callow novice to lead. He can't
get anything done. So they elect him again.
Bee: He still can't get anything done. So he is messing around in other colonies,
killing people and trying to change their leaders.
Ant: Look at us. We don't need leaders ...
Bee: We are civilized; everyone knows their function. They perform it without
Ant: We don't have lazy layabouts ...
Bee: And no one steals. I say that because you know what humans do to our hives.
Take all our honey, starving the babies (sobs).
Ant: There, there! Don't cry. These humans are not long for this earth ...
Bee: But how many species will they wipe out before we are rid of them.
Ant: Yes, the latest is the beautiful monarch butterfly.
Bee: What a story of migration! I would fly beside them and they'd tell me fantastic
tales of travel. I'll miss them.
Ant: Me, too. They were so beautiful!