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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
February 14, 2021
News Item: Today, Valentine's Day, President Joe Biden sent his wife a card, the
contents of which (first line below) were released to the press. It is one thing to
remember one's wife and express a private sentiment; quite another to use it to
increase one's popularity.
"You are the love of my life and the life of my love,"
Oh, Joe! You are the spring in my step and my step to spring.
Dr. Jill, you are spring's freshness in summer and summer's warmth in spring.
Darling Joe, what can I say, you are my man for all seasons and all seasons in one
Dearest Dr. Jill, you bloom in all seasons and all seasons bloom in you.
Sweet Joe, no flower smells as sweet, and no passion as vivid as any flower.
Jill, my sweetheart, flowers I like but you the prettiest flower of all, I love.
Darling Joe, such sweet sentiments won my heart years ago, but darling you forgot ...
I like to be called Dr. JIll.
Oh, Dr. JIll, how could I ... after you slaved harder than any ant to earn that title.
Titles, my dear love, you too have earned. You are President and you have made
me first lady.
Ladies first they may say, but you are not just First Lady but first and always a lady.
How kind you are my darling Joe, and what a way with words. And how different from
the man you replaced, who I understand from the chefs used to eat cheeseburgers
all day ...
That's all in the past, dear love ... he can eat cheeseburgers and hit golf balls all he
wants, makes not a whit of difference ...
As long as that's all he hits on, which reminds me ... about the new blonde secretary
that was hired, I understand you had ...
Hey! How about a special dinner tonight to celebrate Valentine's Day ... just the two
of us ...