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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
February 12, 2012
STEGOSAURUS IN SANITORIUM
News Item: Republican candidate Rick Santorum wins caucuses in Colorado,
Minnesota and Missouri.
If you were 150 million years old, you would be in one too. Anyway, this
Sanitorium is nothing to complain about. Clean living, healthy food ... and,
yes, if all of us had followed my habits, we would not now be almost extinct.
No, my thinking is not 150 million years old. We have to be well-armed to
survive -- look at my backside -- those plates have been fashioned through
countless years of natural selection. It is only one of the reasons why I am
the chosen one, chosen by so many of my species to lead.
Yes, I am the anointed one, still free of arthritis in my bones, and still trying
to shake loose the cobwebs snaring up connections elsewhere.
I-ran ... and it still bothers me --- but that tyranno was awful close -- which is
why now I want to fight. I-rack ... well, the riches seduced me ....
The Presidential race? To me it's a sure -- maybe even a saurus -- thing ....
high time someone listened to us sauruses on this planet. And I'll win. Do
you know why? Take a good look at me ... close up. Scares the hell out of
my opponents ... me too sometimes!