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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
February 11, 2018
News Item: The Winter Olympics opened two days ago in PyeongChang, South
The Eskimos have nineteen words for snow; the Indians have none -- they use the
word for ice. It explains shy the Indian team consisted of one member.
It explains why the competitors are principally from a band of European countries
around the Alps, plus outliers where there is snow, northern U.S., Canada, and of
course Japan, Korea and China.
In Norway, more than 1600 miles of ski trails run deep into the forests around the
capital Oslo alone. And there is a ski jump in Holmenkollen, a suburb. About 60
miles of trails are flood-lit for the evening hours, and popular ones are packed with
families at weekends. Cross-country ski races abound. Is it any surprise if
Norwegians are always in contention for a medal or more? The population of Norway
is only around 5.25 million, yet they win so many medals.
If the ancient Greeks ever saw skis, there is no record of it. No, their Olympics
consisted of naked men running straight down a track -- a practice not recommended
in PyeongChang for the danger of frostbite in the most awkward of places.
Ma! Bwana go crazy ... and so much talcum powder. Why, they walk and slide on
Not talcum son, it is what they call snow, a kind of cold water.
Ma, I would like some snow when it gets hot.
We don't have snow. It falls from the sky there.
They must be very rich, Ma ...