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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
February 8, 2015
THE TALE TELLING TORTOISE
News Item: Brian Williams the NBC news anchor caught in a lie about his helicopter
being hit in 2003 by Iraqi ground fire.
Mr. Tortoise, I must say, I admire your cape.
Carapace! One has to be accurate in my business. Yes, I have always been a natty
dresser ... got me where I am.
Well, tell us about this brouhaha about your helicopter escapade.
Oh ... it's a tempest in a teapot ... the hypocrites ...
Why do you say that?
If you must know ... one minute they are having a go at me, the next they're telling
you about Russian tank columns in Ukraine.
Well, aren't there?
Surely, you can't be that green. But I forget ... seventy percent of Joe Schmoes like
you believed in that sucker Saddam's WMDs and half still do. Now it's Putin's tank
Okay ... On another note ... how is your acting career getting along?
Oh, fine! But why do you call it another note ... my main job is the best act I have.
You know, I read a script we've spent a day preparing -- a lot of it fiction. Our
sources are the government and we respect what they say. So there I am ... I look
serious at the serious parts; concerned at the Russian 'danger' ... disbelieving at
their attempts to clarify, amused sometimes; smile at our light local interest closing
story and so on. And at the same time, I have to look trustworthy.
My word! I see what you're saying. No wonder they pay you $10 million ... like those
other Hollywood actors ...
As Shakespeare said, 'all the world's a stage'. Or did he? I don't want to be accused
of lying again ...