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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
February 7, 2021


New Item:  Trump Tower in Chicago violates environmental laws by sucking massive
amounts of water from the Chicago River without a valid permit.

Damn, I forgot that one.

You forget golf club, Doughnaald?

No, no, Melania.  I was thinking of my building in Chicago and environmental laws.

Environment is important, Doughnaald ...

Yes, yes, yes, Melania but not when it hurts profits.

But I thought you leave business to children.

And children, they are not telling me about this while I was president.

(Coquettishly) You always president with me ...

Not before breakfast, Melalnia.  I am hungry.

I was going to have a coffee get-together today with some of the women.  You know,
get all the gossip.  You want to stay?

What?  With those women?  I am playing golf.

Maybe, if I ask them to bring their daughters ...

You know, maybe I can stay.  And you know I could give golf lessons to the
daughters.  You know how much I like to help young people ...

I know, Doughnaald.  I change my mind.  I think I'll have a quiet read.  Both of us

Read!  Me, read!  I had enough of that in four years at the White House.  Why, I was
so sick of it, I had to employ someone to read for me.

I know, the young blonde.  I think I'll order you a cheeseburger with plenty of cheese.  
It will settle you down ...