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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
February 3, 2019
News Item: The lowest scoring superbowl was played today with the Patriots
defeating the Rams 13-3.
Mr. President, it's on the news everywhere. They're saying you wouldn't let Barron
Yep! I call it like it is. Too risky. Too dangerous. To many head injuries. I know.
Did you play football?
How did you guess? When you're big, that's what they push you into.
And did you have head injuries, Sir?
(Defensively) Might have. Go get me a cheeseburger.
Of course, Sir. Did the injuries have a lasting effect?
Listen! GO GET that cheeseburger!
Yes, Sir. But I have to remind you to look over your SOTU address. It's only a
couple of days away.
Yeah! Yeah! I'll get to it. I don't see the big deal about football. Today's game put
me to sleep.
Yes Sir. It wasn't the most exciting.
I tell you, my fight with the Democrats in Congress has more excitement.
Indeed, Sir. I hope you win.
Don't worry, I never lose. I am not the Rams.
Of course you're not ... anything but ...
Are you trying to be funny or something?
Oh no, Sir! I'm on my way for the cheeseburger.
Good! And I promise you I'll build that wall.