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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
January 27, 2019
News Item: Donald Trump reopened the government for three weeks, giving the
impression that he blinked first.
Mr. President, it sure looks like you lost to Speaker Pelosi.
To Nancy! You must be kidding. Just watch, I am going to build that wall.
Just watch. And go get that cheeseburger I asked you to, and tell 'em not to skimp
on the sauce.
But how Mr. President?
Listen! You just watch and you'll learn. I didn't write the 'Art of the Deal' for nothing.
But we all thought a ghostwriter did ...
You're getting a little too sassy ...
(Phone rings) Excuse me Sir, Speaker Pelosi is on the line.
Tell her I am not available. I'll call her back. It's my ploy, you know.
Yes, Sir. The President says he's not available. He will call you back. It's his ploy,
You are beyond stupid. You don't say that. You simply say, "The President is not
But that's what I said.
It's too much! How can I get anything done with people like this. Who hired you?
You did, Sir.
What did you do before? I was doorman at your building and we always chatted
when you came out. I always told you you'd win the election. You said I gave you a
Go get that cheeseburger ...