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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
January 22, 2017
FIDOTUS MEETS PRESIDENT-ELECT
News Item: The Obamas' dog Bo meets the Trumps.
I am FIDOTUS, First dog of the United States. That's top dog in any vocabulary, but,
sadly, not for long now.
You know it's not all wine and roses here, or, should I say, chews and treats. The
First Lady, as you know, is health conscious so not too many of those.
And they are always sending me to be groomed. I hate that.
And all that exercise ... it's a bit much sometimes. Still the kids are a lot of fun.
I love them all ... though I'll miss the White House staff ... some nice enough to slip a
treat or two ...
It's easy to know we're going. Have been given too many treats, too many tears, too
Anyway, the new tenants showed up ... his hands smelled of sanitizer, a weird one
like a disinfectant; she never took her gloves off.
'Incredible!' he says, 'amazing!' just because I held up my paw to shake hands like
"What is he?" he asked my den chief.
"A Portuguese Water Dog."
"A Portuguese Water Dog!" he exclaims. "Fine. But I believe in buying American, an
American Pit Bull for me if I ever get a dog."
As if his wife didn't count. And what about their little boy? I bet he'd have something
He stood up and walked around, appraising everything. "You know I could turn this
place into a real money winner ... a hotel and casino," he mused ...
Suddenly, you could see the excitement well up in him. "Just thinking ... imagine the
number of tables we could set up in the Pentagon, Melania ... "