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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
January 15, 2017


News Item:  On January 20, 2017 at noon, Donald Trump will be sworn in as the new

It has been a comfortable time in the White House.  The food is good, all needs are
catered for, and the effects of this salubrious existence transfer to us.

It is for these reasons that this entomon first family must abandon their hosts.  The
food has been nutritious, great for the children, and we have several generations
now living under the same roof ... er ... heads.

The accommodations were superb and have remained so with one exception:  the
chief host decided to fashion his hair in a very close trim -- an ecological disaster, it
cost us many lives.  Yet we are nothing if not adaptable, and we survived.  And we
have loved it.

In point of fact, we have loved it so much we have decided to stay and must bid our
departing hosts a fond farewell.  We will soon establish ourselves temporarily on the
staff (to await our new hosts) from which vantage point we can also wave goodbye to
our close friends.

Humans made much of this so I'll say it.  Our bond was sealed in blood -- they
manufactured it, we drank it.  A relationship you might note not dissimilar to that of
humans and cows.

A final word:  One lesson we have certainly learned in our years at the White House:  
Everything considered unpleasant gets renamed to suit human refinement.  When
people are killed by bombs they are not killed, they are destroyed or eliminated.  As a
matter of fact, they are not people at all, they are targets.  And women and children
in the homes where targets are destroyed?  They are collateral damage.  How
delicate and considerate.  One cannot help be amazed.  So please do not call us
head lice.  The term is offensive.  We prefer Entomon-Americans.  Thank you.