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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
January 13, 2013
THE EVERGLADES PYTHON
News Item: Open season on the pythons in the Florida Everglades for eating too
many native species. Hunters armed with machetes and guns have been invited to
decapitate or shoot them.
My great grandmother came here, quite legally, as a domestic -- a domestic pet. Her
job was to slide around the house looking pretty and occasionally curl up with her
employer. For that she was paid a rat a week. But she became too big for their
apartment and they threw her out.
Well, I was born and raised here. I am an American. How more native can you be? I
know what they mean though. But look what humans did to their own Native
Americans, and they want to decapitate us for just eating to survive -- no massacres,
no virtual imprisonment on reservations, no nothing.
Now beheadings? Ouch! What have we become? The Saudi States of America?
The S.S.A. The S.S. certainly has the right ring to it. This and the Patriot Act --
humans can be put in jail indefinitely without trial; some have even been killed --
executed by drone -- without trial. Takes a constitutional lawyer to shred the
I have been living here, doing the best I can in our capitalist dog-eat-dog society --
though I confess I have never eaten a dog. Rats, I have certainly taken out of the rat
race ... and birds and things -- whatever is around when I am hungry, which is not
often I must add.
So, now I am hiding .... hiding in fear of my life, in fear of beheading. Is this a free
country? I ask you.