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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
January 12, 2020
TRUMP MOST ADMIRED
News Item: Every year a Gallup poll surveys Americans for who they admire most.
This year Barack Obama and Donald Trump tied for first place polling 18 percent
Congratulations Doughnaald! I knew you'd win.
But I didn't Melania. I had a tie with that Democrat ...
That's all right. Next year you win outright.
I just don't understand how I couldn't beat that hypocrite.
You mean he talks peace and goes to war ...
Yeah! And Clinton before kept on about "I feel your pain." 'I feel your pain' my ass.
He then cuts welfare payments. I haven't done that have I?
No you haven't. But you are my softie; my big, softie, cuddly polar bear ...
Oh, cut that out, and don't come too close. I've just combed my hair and you know
how long that takes.
You mean to get the hairs in place just right ...
That and spraying them to stay there. Makes me look twenty years younger, doesn't
Of course it does. And if you believe it, that's what really matters.
What do you mean? I don't look younger ...
I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to me you are my beautiful ...
Big cuddly polar bear ... I know. But Melania ...
Doughnaald! I got you something to celebrate this occasion. Here ...
Oh Melania, you shouldn't have ... a big juicy cheeseburger! (Walks away munching