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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
Jan 8, 2012

A GRAND OLLAMA VACATION

News Item:  President Obama's Christmas vacation in Hawaii cost the taxpayer
about $4 million.

Well, I am the Grand Ollama.  So what is the fuss about?  What do you
expect?

When I travel, my entourage travels with me -- I mean all the llamas taking
care of me.  Even my ground transportation has to come with me, and it
takes another plane.  How do you expect me to move otherwise?  The
airplane can't take me to my suite at the hotel -- which by the way, I am
paying for myself (I think).  It's the hotel bills for all my accompanying llamas
and the cost of the airplanes that you folks are fussing about.  And I can't
help that.

What?  Travel on commercial jet?  Are you nuts?  Imagine the security alerts
everywhere.  And where will I carry the special box with the security codes
to let loose nuclear hell on the Ruskies in case Putin gets any ideas?  In the
overhead compartment?

So you are saying I should charter a commercial jet.  You mean like the
Queen of England?  But I have the people's business to take care of and I
like to travel on the people's plane.  If that doesn't make sense to you folks,
nothing will.