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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
January 6, 2013
THE MALDIVES SHREW
Item: Anyone with doubts about climate change should pay a visit to the Maldives, a
chain of islands in the Indian Ocean a couple of hundred or so miles south of India.
As the ocean levels rise, the islands are sinking.
Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! That's all I hear about. The news is always centered on the
problems of the rich. Bet you've never even heard of me; yet, my losses are far more
severe than most of those rich people building homes too close to the shore.
What happened to me, you ask? Well, I lost my home too. There was a small storm
-- we get them all the time, so we were sleeping soundly. I always guard the exit, so I
was closer to it. The rest were sleeping snugly much further inside. My poor
innocent babes! When the water rushed in, they didn't stand a chance, and I
couldn't get to them.
When the wave backed out, I was washed out with it. That's how I survived. I know,
my family is insignificant to humans. They call us vermin. But to me, it was my life.
You humans have been on the planet just a 100,000 or so years. The dinosaurs,
you consider dumb, survived 150 million years -- done in, some say, by climate
change. In your 100K years, not too much happened until a few hundred years ago,
when you started breeding like flies and living lives of unimagined comfort ... and
greed. It has been a disaster.
If you continue the way you are going, we will all be done in. Pleeeeeeze just stop!