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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Jan 1, 2012
THE CONSTANCY OF ROMNEY SHEEP
News Item: Mitt Romney contrasts his constancy -- same religion, same wife,
etc. -- with rival Newt Gingrich's fickleness -- change of religion, many
changes of wives, and so on.
So he says, the sheep at Romney, Kent remark. We knew him well. First he
had a black head of curly fur, then it was white, and now he turns it black
again and straightens out the curls.
You know why he has one wife. None of the ewes like him. Any decent ram
has several ewes. Keeps him busy and the lambs bring strength to the
herd. But Mitt ... what do they say ... all talk and no ... you know what we man.
There's something about that Newt -- even though he's not a sheep. Maybe
it's the baby-face head or the large sagging belly. There are several
chameleons down here, and the big ones all have large sagging bellies. It
must be a lizard thing. Well, the Lizzies love him, going by his half-million
dollar charge account at Tiffany's.
Then there was Bill, the old goat. Scrambling up and down like a bed bug.
He wasn't into Tiffany charge cards. No trout or salmon for him -- he fished
the murky bottom waters.
Well, happy new year to all of you from Romney Marsh. It's balmy around
here - climate change an' all -- and balmy's the word for those runnin' the
show in London. Pantomimes in Whitehall now, instead of Music Hall.